My friend Mrs. R had this fantastic link on her blog. She and her hubby have adopted one little boy and are in the process of adopting their second boy. Her story is amazing. But listening to these birth mothers share their experiences with adoption and how it has affected them is down right sob worthy!
My 17 year old niece is pregnant right now and she is due in April. She is keeping her baby and is planning on marrying the father the end of May. I am terrified for her, but mostly for the baby. She asked me a few times early on in her pregnancy what she should do and then asked me what I would do if I was her. I highly encourages her to look into adoption. I gave her articles from Mrs. R's blog, had her go to itsaboutlove.org. I had every hope that she would listen and heed the advice given to her by my mother-in-law, sister-in-law and me. But she choose to keep him. Which is her right.
But I am terrified for this baby.
She is 17 and the father will be 21 soon. Both have no education, no jobs and are going to be living on his grandparents property in a cottage. They have no money for diapers, clothes, medical appointments, etc. I told her at Thanksgiving to get a piece of paper and split it down the middle...Pros for Keeping Hayden and Cons for Placing Hayden. I'm not sure she did it, but that is her right...
again I am terrified for this baby.
It makes me sad to know that this baby will be deprived of everything he should be entitled to. I pray every night for this baby and my niece. I pray that their marriage will work and that Jake will support her and help her and be able to provide for this baby. I can't imagine being 17 and pregnant, and getting into a loveless marriage.
I have several friends who have also placed their babies and have gone on to marry in the temple. They still see their babies regularly and they KNOW they did the right thing.
I wish my niece would come around. But being raised in a loveless home and never being cared for and never taught moral values from your mother can lead to teen pregnancy. My mother in law tried to help her, to teach her, to love her. But she is keeping this baby so she has someone to love her...finally.
7 comments:
This absolutely breaks my heart. It broke my heart last week when you told me about it, and again reading it. I hope that she can fully comprehend the situation and look past her own life. This baby is entitled to parents who love each other, love the baby and who WANT a baby of their own. Who can provide and KNOW how to provide!
I know and I don't know how to reach through to her. I wish I could just wave a magical wand and make her change her mind. What is even more unfortunate is that my mother in law is now encouraging her to keep the baby. I do agree that if she is keeping this baby thatsomeone has to teach her how to be a good mom to Hayden, BUT STILL! ugh!
But you are so right...He is ENTITLED to a mother AND A father who are married and love each other and want him. And nothing but the best for him. I am so sad for him.
Bright Side: It's admirable that your neice and the father of the baby want to take responsibility for their actions instead of aborting the baby.
However, when I read that they would be entering into a loveless marriage, I winced.
Now that they have chosen to give the baby life, They should consider what will be the BEST possible life for their child.
Either A: the child will grow up in a home where he/she knows his/her parents dont love one another.
or B: It is possible that with time they will develop a loving relationship, (ex: arranged marriages.)
I'm not sure whether A or B would happen, but what YOU CAN DO is have your family fast and pray for them. Pray that the spirit might touch them and guide them on what is BEST for the child. Even if they are not members, the light of Christ can touch any heart. Also pray that they will be receptive to the message. Best of luck.
My missionary trainer just
e-mailed me to tell me they have been chosen (through LDS services) to adopt a little girl. She and her husband live in Wisconsin and have been unable to have children. I am so excited for her. I am a big supporter of adoption.
She never gave abortion a second thought. She knew she would not do that! She did consider adoption, but did not think too much about it or explore everything about it. She is a member of the church, Jake is not.
I am so happy for your trainer! What a brave young woman they have in their lives!
I have such mixed views on this- WHO AM I TO JUDGE! If that would've been me I really don't think I could've given up my child under ANY circumstance.BUT on the other hand I totally agree with your words, the child is a child of God and deserves EVERYTHING. I really think it depends on the situation and hearing hers I would say that adoption is the favored way. It is so sad, but everyone makes mistakes in life and it's what you do with them that counts. I feel for this child, what does life hold for them? I a couple family members who have been through this and chose adoption and I am so thankful for their loving decision. After experiencing the heartache from being torn I am seeing the opposite- my sister in law is about to get her child from Korea next month and it moves me to tears because I KNOW the JOY this child is bringing to our family. I am so thankful to this mother and for her decision to create a better life for him. I have since realized that even thought that mother is his birth mother she has served her purpose and now he is to be Jessie's, it was meant to be- GOD knew they would be together somehow and he made it so. The saw a picture of him and knew instantly that he was theirs. I feel such respect for those mothers who swallow their pain and do the most CHRISTLIKE thing- to give them up for something that they could NEVER give them. All those mothers will get their eternal reward.
Yay for Jessie! Wait as in Geoff's sister, Jessie?! How fantastic!
And it is a complete selfless act of these birth mothers AND fathers when they do what is best for the child when they know they cannot provide what the baby needs. These birth mothers and Fathers will absolutely get their eternal reward.
Yes, Jessie.
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